One Life Left's Podcast
One Life Left -- x03 -- Christmas Special '07 -- Festively Unbroadcastable As you might have guessed by now (and those tuning into Resonance on the 23rd will have surmised) our One Life Left Christmas party it was literally unbroadcastable in the end. Fear not! We're sticking it here for you, essentially unedited. Because we said we would.

But why was the show literally unbroadcastable? Well, two reasons, really:

1) Technical!

Actually, thanks to our amazing on-site engineers Martin (whose voice is the first you hear after Ste's apology) and James we managed to overcome most of the problems. If it wasn't for them there wouldn't be anything for us to apologise for. In a good way, because we wouldn't have recorded anything more than the sound of The One Life Left Team sobbing into booze as our best-laid plans collapsed in front of literally dozens of listeners.

Still, despite their best efforts (and because of our dodgy technology) the audio quality here is poor.

Most of the show, particularly the news section, ended up masked by an irritating whine from somewhere in our hastily-rigged system of wires and pulleys. The magic of post-processing has reduced it in most places and all but eliminated it in others, but you'll notice some fluctuations in our voices. There's also some stop-startyness (technical term) mostly confined the song judging part, which is down to some kind of minidisc jutter as far as I can make out.

The most major problem, though, is that the minidisc recorder we were using is super-sensitive; despite our best efforts in pre-show fiddling the volume from our mics peaked throughout and so the show remains cursed with that hideous crackle the moment mics 1 and 2 go above whisper. Since mic 1 is the overly excitable-Ste and mic 2 is the mostly boistrous Simon... Well. You get used to it but it isn't exactly pleasant. Forewarned.

2) Performance-based!

We had an amazing time that afternoon and the atmosphere in the podcast reflects that. Will that raucous humour translate to people who weren't there? Hmm. There are certainly some brilliant bits -- if you find the whole thing too annoying at least skip forward to Craig 'The Rage''s live poetry, make sure you hear Ann's filthy fiction and yeah, you'll be hearing more clips from Derek Williams' four-song set in future OLL's -- but you may find the rest of it leaves you feeling like you're... Well, on the outside of a party looking in. Which you are.

Have I set your expectations low enough yet? It's not ALL bad. But for the technical issues someone better than us at audio editing could probably make an hour of typical OLL-standard radio out of this. Pad it out with music a bit, drop in a few of the pre-recorded features. Actually, probably by taking the 8-bit Peoples back catalogue, copying it over us in Audacity and then deleting our bit entirely. But regardless there's SOMETHING here, if only proof the event actually happened and encouragement for you to come to the next one. So do that. We have plans but we'll talk about them when we make our return for real. See you in January.

Join our Facebook Group and push us past Resonance FM's membership numbers by clicking here, or identify yourself as a fan to others on that same definitely-too-ubiquitous-for-comfort-now site by clicking here. Our MySpace is here and clicking around our friends list there is a good way to find out about the bands on the show. The OLL forum is here (now populated by users with festive names) and if you want to email us you can do so at the address in the show. Altogether now: team at...
Direct download: OLL_x03.mp3
Category:Show -- posted at: 5:01pm EDT

It's Christmas Time / There's no need to be afraid. Because Simon isn't here. Why? It doesn't matter. We can't answer questions about oft-inexplicable disappearences of One Life Left staff and family members. No, I'm not sure you understand that statement. We literally can't.

However explanations are completely unnecessary in this instance because the One Life Left Team is bolstered by the entirely explicable arrival of Tom Bramwell from Eurogamer! In a break with OLL's rudest convention he's allowed to contribute almost from the very start, i.e. to the news which is something of a relief as it gives Ste more time to play around with buttons so he can miscue jingles. It also actually adds some, you know, news analysis to the news section.

That's the weirdest thing about OLL59. We talk about videogames! I mean, often it's kind of accidental but Tom keeps drawing us back in -- Guitar Hero, Aquaria, why he's decided to hate Rockstar's Table Tennis without actually playing it. Even Ann take a more forthright and less disinterested role in the actual, you know, videogame bits of the show (and there are some this week). She even goes so far as to ask Tom some actual game-related questions, AND talks about a moment where she considered buying a game on a whim. Go Ann! In another 60 hours she'll be bitching about Smash Brothers mediocrity with the best of us.

The team -- all three of them, promise -- will be back in January. Subscribers (via iTunes or RSS) should expect a festive gift around about the 23rd, assuming it's broadcastable. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. We'll see you in 2008.


Join our Facebook Group and push us past Resonance FM's membership numbers by clicking here, or identify yourself as a fan to others on that same slightly-too-ubiquitous-for-comfort-now site by clicking here. Our MySpace is here and clicking around our friends list there is a good way to find out about the bands on the show. The OLL forum is here (now populated by users with festive names) and if you want to email us you can do so at the address in the show. Altogether now: team at...
Direct download: OLL_s03e11.mp3
Category:Show -- posted at: 7:54pm EDT

One Life Left -- s03e10 -- #58 -- Gin and Juice Hello, welcome to - NO DON'T TOUCH THAT - to One Life Left, Europe's only - THAT'S MY EMAIL ACCOUNT STOP READING IT - videogame radio sho - LEAVE ANN ALONE -- radio show broadcasting on -- SIMON JUST... Oh. The End.

That's right. Goaded by a google (is that our collective noun? Email in please) of One Life Left listeners addressing things to the team 'and Simon', OLL's firey co-presenter is off the rails in OLL #58. And as much as it SOUNDS like the team are generally fractious and flirtatious here the issue came to the fore in the five minutes before the show started. See, Ste asked Simon to watch his levels. As in the levels on the desk which measure how loudly he's going off the rails.

Which means Simon spends the whole show shouting and interrupting and watching his levels, Ste spends the whole show stumbling through half-finished anecdotes all the time feeling he's picking his way down rainbow road and only delaying the moment he plumments, and Ann bats her eyelids a little, smiles so sweetly and considers the ways she could murder a man.

Still, Levelator's hopefully flattened the thing out a bit which means if you can pick your way through the mumbling and amateurish form you'll find Craig 'The Rage''s best poem ever, Taliah, Derek, plenty of letters, the four entries to OLL's PixelH8 competition and much, much more.

Most important thing to remember this week: it's the One Life Left Christmas Party on Saturday so do try and make it -- details on the Facebook but essentially The Blue Posts on Rupert St, Soho, London from 1pm to until we pass out.

That's it. See you in a week for the very last OLL of 2007 (festively broadcastable events not withstanding).

Join our Facebook Group for reasons discussed in this episode by clicking here, or identify yourself as a fan to others on that same slightly-too-ubiquitous-for-comfort-now site by clicking here. Our MySpace is here (poor old MySpace: once it seemed like the world would be theirs, but now it is the new Friendster, which makes Friendster the new actually-meeting-people, which is just so over). The OLL forum is here and if you want to email us you can do so at this address.
Direct download: OLL_s03e10.mp3
Category:Show -- posted at: 8:28pm EDT

One Life Left -- s03e09 -- #57 -- Just Like That There's an informal code of conduct amongst the One Life Left Team to try and avoid doing anything on Tuesday evenings. So Ste's cancelled his weekly buff'n'tuff session at the gym, Ann no longer goes pole dancing at the gym or elsewhere and when Simon needs to break the legs of a games reviewer he makes sure to keep it to a weekend. It's recreation, after all. Essentially a sport.

But sometimes the unavoidable happens and Ste's at the mini-GDC in Lyon right now which means OLL #57 comes to you live (pre-recorded) from the One Life Left bunker, deep in the heart of West London. Recorded over a couple of hours on Saturday afternoon and pieced together over another dozen on Sunday, this is a bitty, peculiar edition of Europe's favourite (only) videogame radio show. It's not the episode you'd take out to meet your friends and family, to prepare them for our long life together. Sorry about that.

All that said it retains the easily imitated essence of One Life Left, notably reviews, news, features and music and lots and lots of inane chat. Actually at one point the chat gets dangerously close to non-inane (ane?) as the chaps discuss GamespotGerstmannGate and Ann sits quietly looping her headphone cable like the special girl she is. But don't worry. Before and after that we're gossiping with initials, doing DS magic tricks and making improptu phonecalls to our favourite PC gamer.

Music, magic, and music as magic. What more could you want?

Notes and queries: A broken cable meant we had to record in mono and several of the features were pasted in afterwards so please excuse the slightly confused reactions in some sections. We'd have apologised for this but when we tried the backing music was so peculiar it was literally unbroadcastable.

In fact the audio levels were messed up throughout the show BUT we've used something called Levelator to even it out. If the whole thing sounds dodgy it's because of that. If it sounds better it's because of that. I know for sure it's louder than usual.

Oh, and I had to cut out eight minutes across the hour so it'd fit in Resonance's broadcast slot. There is an unedited version that'll go on the DVD when we're super famous.

Join our Facebook Group for reasons discussed in this episode by clicking here, or identify yourself as a fan to others on that same slightly-too-ubiquitous-for-comfort-now site by clicking here. Our MySpace is here (poor old MySpace: once it seemed like the world would be theirs, but now it is the new Friendster, which makes Friendster the new actually-meeting-people, which is just so over). The OLL forum is here and if you want to email us you can do so at this address.

Direct download: OLL_s03e09.mp3
Category:Show -- posted at: 9:51pm EDT

One Life Left -- s03e08 -- #56 -- Softcore Romance Remember the announcement we promised to make last week and then didn't? The one we said we'd make this week if you read the descriptions, which I assume you do because you're reading this? Well get this: we actually make that announcement this week. It is awesome and concerns how you can participate in a festive One Live Left (sic). Just as awesome is that we remembered to tell you that, and not just that. We remembered to tell you everything.

That's right. Everything. For the first time in Season 3 every single thing we promise both to you and to ourselves actually happens. It's all here, from the announcements we need to make, the jingles we're meant to play and the musical discs we've decided to spin right through to playing every single feature we've got scribbled down in front of us on the running order. We even remember to run a hugely special competition in addition to the rollover Ann Art (that's always special, of course). We almost don't remember to do a Top 5 but Ste pushes it through. And Ann remembers to put her top back on at the end of the show. J/K LOL.

So. What does One Life Left make of the Jade Raymond 'thing'? Find out here. Could people care less that Nintendo have been slagged off by Greenpeace? Find out here. What is the actual difference between the two classical categories of pornography? Find out here. Can Ann play Fur Elise on a Nintendo SP? Find out here. And which apparently-gone ex-contributor makes their unexpected reappearance in episode 56? Find. Out. Here.

Enjoy. The flash player should be back and working this week. Letters on a biblical theme (or whatever, really) to the usual address. Those of you who follow the instructions in the episode should expect some kind of missive on Friday.

If all goes to plan next week's episode will be a special recorded from the OLL bunker so if you've got anything you think we should deal with or apologise for make sure to let us know before we do that, i.e. before Saturday at 2pm. If all doesn't go to plan Simon and Ann will be doing a Ste-less show live next Tuesday as he will be at GDC in Lyon. Bonne chance, Team.

Join our Facebook Group for reasons revealed in the episode by clicking here, or identify yourself as a fan to others on that same slightly-too-ubiquitous-for-comfort-now site by clicking here. Our MySpace is here (poor old MySpace: once it seemed like the world would be theirs, but now it is the new Friendster, which makes Friendster the new actually-meeting-people, which is just so over).

Music in #56: Virt -- Across Rooftops , Pixelh8 -- Girl Fight and Beats for Beginners -- Lazer Beams For Eyes (Beats vs ZZZ Remix) (and the regular awesome contributions from Iain Cook, Simon Parkin, thedoyouinverts, Uglifruit, Nick Parton and The Lost Levels).
Direct download: OLL_s03e08.mp3
Category:Show -- posted at: 7:30pm EDT

One Life Left -- s03e07 -- #55 -- Poorly Performed In One Life Left's experience* there are three sorts of letters that come in card-backed brown paper envelopes.

1) Signed contracts from the BBC offering million pounds to transfer our special brand of broadcast magic to Radio 4,

2) Legal threats from easily offended games industry professionals who we might have erm accidentally defamed or you know whatever,

3) Glossy, black and white spy photos of the team being touched in and / or touching at least four separate places.

Imagine the rush when we arrived at the studio to find a brown, card-backed envelope waiting for us. Real post! Addressed to us c/o Resonance! Without us ever giving out the address! This could be great! Or terrible!

Experience the thrill with us as we bite our lips and open it live on air.

Oh yeah, there's other stuff that's actually games-related too. For example, Dan Griliopoulos, Reviews Editor at Official Xbox Magazine as recently as last week and now A Free Man, breaks his monastic silence on the things that matter. Like how you really pronounce Koch, whether Mass Effect is just one long corridor after another, and what happens when games journalists stop journalising.

Actually, it's something of a reviews special this week as we cover Call of Duty 3, Super Mario Galaxy, that new Metroid one on the Wii which one would assume is exactly like every other 3D Metroid game ie a lifetime of scanning, Zoo Tycoon on the DS (?!) and whatever Ann's been playing. Ann? Ann?

Oh whatever. Ignore her, ane enjoy the two comebacks from people you might have thought gone forever, and the moment when finally, finally, we get someone on the phone.

Important things we forgot to do across the hour of :

1) The Jade Raymond thing. We'll do that next week.

2) The Facebook 'secret' thing. We will probably just announce this on Facebook this week even though we forgot to trail it. But we'll talk about it next week for sure.

3) A 'write to us about this'   for the letters section. Jesus Christ, it's not rocket science. Next week, next week.

4) Credit the music. It was CFCF's remix of Justice's D.A.N.C.E. and 6955's awesome 'Museum'.

Thanks for listening. Join us next week for more things we haven't really thought through, including attempted Skype-with-a-Developer nonsense and a non-Ann-art related competition and ANOTHER feature resurrection. See you!

* Imagination

Sort of handy links:
One Life Left Facebook Group
One Life Left Myspace
One Life Left Forum
And email us at team@onelifeleft.com about anything, really.

If Ste sounds angry it's because he had a terrible sandwich in Costa before the show. If Ann sounds angry it's because she's trying to work out what 'bitchkrieg' means. If Simon sounds angry it's because Ste is gesturing. Levels are a bit all over the place again this week, apologies for that.
Direct download: OLL_s03e07.mp3
Category:Show -- posted at: 7:38pm EDT

One Life Left -- s03e06 -- #54 -- Keith and The Girl First things first. As mentioned last episode, the One Life Left team is a (wo?)man down in #54. Don't let that put you off. Why?

Bang! A more-than-capable, super hot OLL Substitute who once almost KILLED Simon!

Zip! An interview with new game superstar Keith Chegwin!

Kapow! Exclusive videogame gossip, exclusive to our exclusive show. Exclusively!

Ka-ching! David McCarthy's Reviewing Masterclass continues to blow the secrets behind games reviewing wide open!

Whoosh! Ann visits the Sex Pistols!

Etc! Brilliant music, awesome news, amazing features, acceptable letters, ill-considered competitions and a very special review!

Of course, there's lots more inside the podcast for you to discover. So much so that we actually ended up with three things we didn't play this week because we didn't have time. It'd be a bit of a waste to slot them into the podcast so they'll be part of next week's show.

Which will therefore include the return of two amazing features, our continued attempts to get a guest on the phone, a sweet competition prize and we imagine not a single word about Super Mario Galaxy. We'll all be sick of it by then, right?

Right?

Right?

See you in a week.

Extra links:

Facebook (the race to 300 -- and to exceed our host station's total --  is ON)
Weird Facebook 'Company' thing (it puts an OLL badge on your profile!!!!!!)
MySpace (we really need to update this, don't we? Be our friend anyway)
Forum (for sarcastic game discussion and barely related)
Email Us (with whatever's on your mind -- suggest a theme for thee week after next's letters section)

Tasks:

Tell your friends. Tell your forums. Tell the world. Thank you.
Direct download: OLL_s03e06.mp3
Category:Show -- posted at: 6:54pm EDT

One Life Left -- s03e05 -- #53 -- Take Two We'll be honest because hey, we're 53 episodes in and we think we've known you long enough to trust you, to call you a friend: you almost didn't get to hear this episode. At 9.05pm on Tuesday the 6th November the OLL team found itself in Trouble and the sort of Trouble which gets a capital to distinguish it from the kind of trouble when Simon tricks Ann into saying rude words. Yes, this was Trouble: One Life Left's precious, intricately constructed show was fast disintegrating in the turbulent wake of the previous studio occupants. Who were still around. And didn't seem in any hurry to leave.

Why wouldn't they leave? Why was the studio covered in lager and wires and coats and... tissues? Why were there tissues on the floor? It wasn't really The Team's fault, not this time, but it was six minutes, seven minutes, eight minutes past nine and things were going badly. Really badly. By nine minutes past they'd degenerated. Broken equipment, curious lights blinking on and off, level needles dancing as if posessed and headphones that didn't so much add clarity as obscure what little sound we were generating. Simon had already uttered the word we've heard too many times already, the word no-one wants to hear -- unbroadcastable -- but we were broadcasting, Oh God we were already broadcasting.

The only thing to do? Take a breath, apologise to the live audience and reboot, reset, restart. You are listening to Resonance 104.4FM. It's... Just after ten past nine. And that means it's time for One Life Left.

Wake up, wake up, podcast listners! It was all just a bad dream, those bad things never happened, those bad people were never here and this is One Life Left, rattled but reinvigorated. News, features, music, bad jokes and bickering. The results and restart of Ann Art. David McCarthy helpfully provides some instructions for would-be games reviewers. Derek, faithful Derek gives us his Firework Market Economy and there's a tribute poem to much-missed Craig 'The Rage' McClellan. Oh, and we get round to reviewing some videogames in an actual reviews section this week, although we're really mostly distracted by repeated attempts to Skype with Broken Sword creator Charles Cecil (we'll pick this up next week).

Apologies once again to those who endured the first ten minutes live. If you were being extremely charitable you could called it 'Exclusive material' and claim it had been 'Released to dedicated live as a show of gratitude'. Actually it was doe-eyed terror reflected in the headlights of an SUV driven by the spirts of selfishness and incompetence. You almost didn't hear this episode. Still more apologies in advance to those of you who'll wish you hadn't. We'll be back to normal (?) in #54, except with one of the team missing for the first time in Season 3. Who? Tune in in a week to find out and enjoy their temporary replacement (though I wouldn't exactly recommend you listen live).

Other things we need to say:

Join our Facebook and help push us up past 200 users and beyond.
Be so 2006 and friend us on Myspace (and look at our friends who are mostly chiptune music)
Look out for Ann at the Sex Pistols press conference
Chat on the OLL forum
Email us, email us, email us
Link us from other places if you can -- your journal, your blog, your favourite forum
Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or via the RSS feed
OLL Christmas announcement coming soon...

Direct download: OLL_s03e05.mp3
Category:Show -- posted at: 8:22pm EDT

One Life Left -- s03e04 -- #52 -- SafeSearch Off Celebrity is a curse: just ask Keeley Hazell, the Page 3 stunnah hired to front (lol) EA's Simpsons game at the London Games Festival. Work's exhausting when you have to keep your top on, which is why One Life Left operates a clothing-optional policy inside the studio; after all, there's precious little chance to catch your breath when you're Europe's only videogame radio show. The One Life Left private jet (the tube) taxis in to the most glamorous part of the capital (London Bridge station) and the team saunter (stumble) into Resonance FM's state-of-the-art studio.  They're fresh (?!) from performing One Live Left at Nottingham Gamecity, ready (!!) to deliver a third show in just over a week. Let's see how Ann's news (!!!?!?!?!) stands up to the strain, shall we?

Also: letters, reviews (singular), music, the Top Five (now with its own theme), informal Page 3 gossip, and Odds On OD on the brink. Plus the last ever Craig 'The Rage' McClellan -- at least for now. Oh, and bonus instructions for all our regular Google Image Searchers on how to find a new picture of Ann on the internet. You'll have to listen for that.

If you were lucky enough to hear this episode live when it was originally broadcast you'll have heard Experience Points and Ann Fiction in the left channel only which, as Simon pointed out at the time, is a bit like having the girls lean in and whisper in your ear. It's fixed now but you might notice some glitching, which is a lot like having me fumble around with dodgy audio connections near your ear. Sorry.

Also a bonus Free Market Economy which was missing from the Resonance transmission because of British broadcasting regulations concerning taste and decency*.

If you enjoy One Life Left please tell your friends, your family, your favourite forums. Join our facebook: we're raising a private army and it's going pretty well. But most of all email us to let us know. We thrive on attention, because that's how celebrity works. Just ask Keeley Hazell.

*Because of a bad CD burn. Sorry Derek!
Direct download: OLL_s03e04.mp3
Category:Show -- posted at: 8:17pm EDT

One Life Left -- s03e03 -- #51 -- Nothing Like Tempest

There is a legend that states that should One Life Left ever produce a radio show that is less professional than the last then the house of Scantlebury will fall. It’s half eleven on Tuesday night, just after Episode 3 of Season 3 and as far as we know she’s fine – she’d text if she wasn’t, wouldn’t she? – so let’s assume we’ve continued our slow tramp up the quality mountain and made some definite improvements. In order:

 

1)      A new ‘Corrections and Clarifications’ section designed for us to make amends to you, the listener, for all our lies and half-truths. Please use responsibly.

 

2)      Live gossip from the videogame BAFTAS, text-messaged in from an insider spy

3)      Another astonishing secret expert guest who comes with his own theme tune. In all caps: who PLAYS HIS OWN THEME TUNE LIVE.

4)      A competition! An actual competition! To win exclusive Ann memorabilia!

5)      Intermittent (and unnecessary) barracking of both Jeff Minter and The Hoosiers

6)      A curiously-enraged Derek Williams

7)      The podcast appearing a record 116 minutes after broadcast.

 

Plus all the usual stuff: music, letters, inside jokes and highly regarded (or at least regarded) features.

 

Thanks to Kotaku and The Guardian for the coverage this week. If you have any more places you think OLL should be, please do us the grandest of favours and let them know (and then let us know that they know). It’s always lovely to hear from you about anything else, too. You should know the email address by now.

 

What else? This Thursday is OLL’s very special* appearance at Nottingham Gamecity. We have no idea what that’s going to be like but please, come and say hi and enjoy a drink with us afterwards. Friday is the OLL affiliated curry-evening and Saturday is Ste’s talk about his Mum. Sunday we’re doing Handheld of a sort at the London Games Fringe thing at 333; more info on that in the show you’re no doubt already subscribed to.

 

Subscribers may get a secret gift later in the week. We’re not sure yet.

 

We’ll be adding pictures to our Facebook group later this week (Ann’s in charge) so if you haven’t joined that maybe you should. Our MySpace friends page is a good place to find all that music that Simon hates so much. And the One Life Left Forum has lots of people talking about videogame pants and much more besides. See you there.

Direct download: OLL_s03e03.mp3
Category:Show -- posted at: 7:07pm EDT